When Should You Call a Woman?


When to Call a Woman

> When should you call a woman you're interested in? We've been asked this question and here is what we think:

If you met someone, had a nice conversation, and she gave you her phone number, call her the next day. If for some reason you have to wait another day, that's fine too. If you call her the next day you will not seem desperate, just interested. Some conventional dating advice dictates waiting several days or a week in order to make the woman wonder why you haven't called, but this is just playing games. If you like her, call her.

The best time to call a woman is in the evening, preferably after dinnertime, unless she mentioned that her work schedule varies or that she works nights. Don't call after 10 p.m.

If she doesn't answer, leave a message and give her a couple days to respond. If she doesn't call back in 3 or 4 days, call her again. If she still doesn't answer, leave another friendly message. If she doesn't call back after the second message then forget about her. Exception: if a young person i.e. a child or teenager takes the message, assume she won't get it and keep trying. Also, if it seems like a busy, chaotic work place where you call her, messages can get lost in the shuffle in which case you can give it one extra try.

Conventional advice also suggests not to leave a message and just wait until she answers, but this is harder to do nowadays because everyone can tell that someone called but didn't leave a message. This is really not a big thing to worry about because...

If she is interested she will call back.

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If you have a business card with her email address, it doesn't hurt to send an email also, just in case there's the outside chance she isn't getting your voice messages.

If for some reason she has changed her mind and is no longer interested, she might not call back. The courteous thing would be to return the call but if she only met a man once, it's easier to just not call back if she's changed her mind. She figures no one has invested any emotions yet so she'd rather spare herself and him the awkwardness of saying, "Sorry Charlieā€¦" At this stage of the dating game, remember not to take it personally if you don't hear back from her.

When I was in the dating scene, several men I met gave me their business card with their email address rather than asking me for my phone number, so I emailed them. We ended up arranging a date this way and I was fine with this. In some ways it's preferable because you're not faced with the anxiety of what to say on the phone. But after the first date, phone calls should take precedence over email.

When you do reach her, have a specific plan in mind for a date. Suggest a time and a place to meet or ask her if you can pick her up. For example, "There's this great Mexican place I'd like to take you to. Is 7 p.m. Friday night good for you?" Or if you don't want to risk dinner, where you might be stuck for longer than you like if the date turns sour, propose to meet her for a drink or coffee instead.

And remember: When you call a woman: You're making an invitation. That's a nice thing. You are making an offer to her and women find that flattering. Don't ever apologize for making a woman an offer. Keep this attitude in mind when you make your phone call...and good luck!

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