First Date Tips For Men - Here's what NOT to do...
No matter who you are - first dates are ALWAYS a challenge. To ensure the best possible experience for everyone, here are 20 things for you to keep in mind or avoid on that first date. Most of this is pure common sense, but you'd be surprised how often men forget about some of this stuff - or just do things without fully thinking through the possible implications ...
Don't be late>
The fastest way to make a poor impression on a first date is to be late. If something beyond your control causes you to be late, then give your date a phone call to let her know.
Don't forget to brush your teeth and be clean overall>
Nasty teeth are one of the biggest turnoffs imaginable so definitely make sure yours are clean ... and that the rest of you, and your car, etc. are clean, too. Be cognizant of your breath especially!
Don't show up with flowers>
I'll probably take some heat from women on this one - but I think that showing up with flowers on a first date is just wrong and possibly pathetic. It can make you seem overanxious ... or it might set the woman's expectations artificially high in the future. Best to wait on the flowers until a relationship is definitely moving forward. (Read our article about when to buy a woman flowers.)
Don't overdress or underdress>
Some people say you can never be overdressed - but you definitely can. Dress appropriately for your age, and for where you are taking your first date.
Have a plan for the date, but be flexible about it>
This is first date tips 101. Have a plan but be flexible. The more carefully you plan something, the more likely you are to become concerned if things deviate from the plan ... so just go easy, and focus on getting to know her ... and having a nice evening together no matter what the situation.
Don't drink too much>
Drinking too much on your first date with a woman is likely to make her think that you are either an alcoholic or that you are just a major party person. A better plan is to stop after several drinks. Of course, if she is drinking like a fish, you can go with the flow.
Don't talk about yourself too much>
Talking non-stop about oneself is the biggest first date-killer in the world. A better bet is to get your date talking about what she likes, and then you can figure out what you might have in common.
Avoid discussing previous relationships>
Never discuss prior relationships during a first date. If she asks, then keep your response very brief and polite about your ex.
Religion and politics are two of the most sensitive topics you can discuss with anyone - so your absolute best bet on any first date is to avoid these topics. And if you cannot avoid them, then tip-toe ... which means don't speak of them in a judgmental fashion.
Don't forget to LISTEN to her>
Be an attentive listener and you will score HUGE points.
Don't take phone calls or respond to text messages>
Your date deserves your undivided attention - whether it is your first date or not. Don't disrespect her by taking cell phone calls or reading or returning text messages during your date ... it is just rude!
Don't eyeball or flirt with other women>
Women are extremely sensitive to eyeballing or flirting with other women - so be careful not to do this!
Be a gentleman but don't go overboard>
Being a gentleman means opening the door for her ... letting her order her meal first ... and the like. Just don't go overboard with it.
Don't forget to compliment her, and don't go overboard>
You definitely want to say at least one nice thing to her during your date - but don't be overly complimentary because it will make you look overeager. The safest thing to tell her (once) is how nice she looks - right when you pick her up or first meet her.
Don't order something drastic for dinner compared to your date>
Skip the pork ribs, or the crab legs - don't order something that requires too much work or mess ... as it won't turn on your date.
Don't be too judgmental>
Sometimes people are just a bit nervous on that first date - so be careful not to form your opinions about her too quickly. That said - do trust your instincts ... I've absolutely learned that in the past!
Don't ask her to pay for the date, or for her "half">
Being cheap is the quickest way to relieve yourself of the responsibility for a subsequent date.
Don't be rude to anyone during the date>
Be nice to everyone - including the restaurant staff, the valet, EVERYONE ... otherwise you run the risk of being viewed as rude (whether situationally-justified or not).
Don't assume too much about your possible relationship with her>
A first date is just that - so don't decide that she is going to be your next wife. Just take things slowly - and one step at a time. Don't be too presumptive about a possible relationship.
Don't try to have sex unless you are sure that is what you both want>
Unless she is giving you unequivocal signals that she wants to sleep with you, don't push for sex. Sometimes women want sex on a first date but generally speaking, it's not the best approach, and you could end up freaking her out by being too aggressive.
Keep these first date tips in mind and you should end up having a nice time and a better chance at a second date.