I am having a hard time finding closure from my last marriage. She has moved on with her life but I cannot stop thinking about her and wish we were still together. Any advice?
There are some things you can do, however, to help yourself move through the pain more quickly, learn from your mistakes, and distract yourself.
Instead of sitting around moping, get out and busy yourself with friends, family, work, and new activities. Work extra hours if that's possible. Do something you've always wanted to do but never had the time for.Start an exercise program if you don't already do something regularly. Exercising has multiple advantages. If you join a gym, for example, you might make new friends there. Or if you join a group of some kind, like hiking, basketball, golf, or whatever, you'll meet people there too. But exercise is great because it will improve your mood and make you feel better all around.
Consider having a few sessions with a professional therapist to help you understand what happened in your marriage so you can grow and learn from the experience and have a better chance of success the next time around. Or if you prefer not to do that, at least read a few books about relationships to learn some things that might never have occurred to you. See the
on our website for recommendations of good reads.
Try to take a philosophical approach to the issue and think to yourself that, painful though it is, it was meant to be this way. Life is packed with learning experiences and they can be opportunities if we choose to look at it that way, opportunities to look at ourselves and dig a little deeper into the anatomy of a failed relationship.
Be patient with yourself. Getting over a divorce can be awful but eventually you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel. And remember that there IS someone out there for you. You're just not ready to meet her yet.
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