How do You Know When to Send a Woman Flowers?


Written by Gregory Smith

Knowing when to send a woman flowers is just as important as knowing when NOT to send them.

Through my own trials and errors over the years, plus having watched many of my friends struggle with this same issue, I think I've put together some good bachelor guidelines for when to/when not to send flowers, how many to send, what kind, etc. I also included some direct input from some female friends of mine, too. Here you go:

There are five sections to this short article:

World's Tallest Roses
  1. When to Send a Woman Flowers
  2. How Many Flowers Do You Send?
  3. What Kind of Flowers Do You Send?
  4. When NOT to Send a Woman Flowers
  5. What Several Female Friends of Mine
    Say about Sending Flowers
First of all (and this is especially for the brand-new midlife bachelors out there) recognize that flowers don't make the man. This means that if a woman doesn't like you, then sending her flowers is not going to magically change the situation. Better to save your money! Flowers are an enhancement, not a means to a better relationship.

When to Send a Woman Flowers

  1. For a special occasion
    (ie. birthday, anniversary, Valentine's Day, etc.) The most common special occasions for flowers are birthdays, anniversaries, and Valentine's Day (of course). You might want to mix in some balloons, too, if she likes balloons, that is. If she works in an office, be sure that you have them sent via a reputable florist (and not self-deliver some store-bought bouquet) - as the show at work in front of her colleagues is just as important the flowers. Trust me on this one!
  2. When you have misbehaved, and need help emerging from the doghouse.
    Flowers won't get you out of the doghouse entirely, but sometimes they help just a little. Remember though that if your relationship is falling apart, then don't waste your money on flowers. Flowers don't make the man! Remember that!

  3. The morning after the first time you have sex with her
    (assuming you want her for a girlfriend). I have done this a number of times in my past. I usually send roses with a card that simply says something like, "I enjoyed last night, and would like to see you again soon." Then sign your name, of course. I'm told that women think this is way hot - so now I'm passing this secret on to you.

How Many Flowers Do You Send?

Don't go overboard. One of my old buddies used to send two or three dozen red roses to his girlfriend and it was completely unnecessary, especially because she thought it was weird (because he was unemployed at the time). Flowers don't make the man! So what is the magic number of flowers to send? Maybe a dozen if you are sending roses, or maybe something similar in size if you are sending something else. Make sure they are in a vase, too.

What Kind of Flowers Do You Send?

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What Kind of Flowers Do You Send?

Remember - red roses mean love, yellow roses mean friendship. And I forget what other colors mean - so best not to use them if you don't know either. Don't send yellow roses to someone you are interested in because I guarantee you she will think you just want to be friends. Women are way into symbolism, stuff we as men would never think of.

Now some women (for whatever reason) don't like roses. You have to really know the woman in order to know what kind of flowers she prefers. If you don't know her well enough yet, then send red roses - and listen carefully to what she says the next time she talks to you, which means that if she goes on and on about how nice they are, then she probably likes roses. Or if she just says "thanks," and starts talking about something else then you know the roses made a minimal impact on her. Okay - now here is a curve ball … one of my female friends would rather receive a plant than flowers, perhaps because cut flowers die off within a few days versus a plant which can grow like your love or your relationship? Okay so that was a bit corny on my part but you get the idea. Every woman is different!

When NOT to Send a Woman Flowers?

Just as you must know WHEN to send a woman flowers, it is equally important to know WHEN NOT to send a woman flowers:

  1. During a breakup.
    Don't throw good money after something bad. Flowers won't save a relationship. The only possible exception might be if the breakup is being caused by one of you moving away (like for a new job or similar.) Otherwise you risk being viewed as pathetic for sending flowers to a woman who wants nothing to do with you. Keep your self-respect - and save your money!
  2. Simply to impress her.
    That sets a bad precedent. One of my buddies just loves to spend big on new women he goes out with. He sends them flowers, takes them out on limo rides for their dates, and he is not super-rich mind you. He makes maybe $100K/year. Anyway, these women come to expect a lot of flash and cash from him, and although he seems to haul in some pretty cute women, none of them stay around very long because it is all just a show. My advice - send flowers for a specific reason only, not simply to impress her. Unless you have money to burn, of course!
  3. Just for the hell of it - she must EARN them.
    I have taken some heat from several of my female friends over this point-of-view but for me it just makes the most sense. The woman must be contributing something to you and the relationship for you to send her flowers as one-way relationships are bad for the "giver." Don't be that one-way "giver." Best instead to give AND receive, and in that case it is fine to send her flowers just because you love her. If you send flowers too often then it can marginalize their effect.
  4. If SHE has misbehaved.

  5. You don't ever want to reward bad behavior. I cannot emphasize this point enough. If she is being bad, like cheating, or doing anything destructive to the relationship, then do not reward that bad behavior with flowers or jewelry or anything, because it sends the wrong message, and will ultimately make you feel bad about yourself. Better to save that money!

Okay - so everything you just read was MY point-of-view. I took the liberty of asking several of my female friends for their input on this, and I'll now pass an abbreviated version of what they said along to you, just so you have several different data points. Remember, all women are different. These women were first given my lists above so there are some intersections, plus some of what they told me has been incorporated above. (OH, and if it comes down to choosing what they say below versus what I say above, then you should listen to me first!)

What Several Female Friends of Mine Say about Sending Flowers


  1. Flowers at her work to showoff are the best - makes her feel like the luckiest woman in the world
  2. Always use a florist. Don't hand pick flowers or buy store-bought ones
  3. Flowers don't make up for you doing something bad
  4. Morning after first sex is a great idea
  5. Day after a date when you don't want to see them anymore. [I pretty much disagree with this one - as I'd say this is throwing good money away after something bad.]
  6. After a breakup if caused by a move or similar
  7. Just for the hell of it/"thinking of you" is great
  8. Would rather have a plant to grow


  1. Prefer being sent or given flowers when no strings are attached
  2. Just thinking about her is great
  3. No roses - spring flowers or tulips
  4. Likes if he self-arranges (this is opposite of most women, I believe)
  5. Flowers don't make the man (fully agree here)


  1. Not a flowers kind of girl, prefer words on a card or nice note
  2. If she works in an office you MUST send them on birthday and Valentine's Day
  3. Spontaneous is best - assuming the woman likes/appreciates flowers
  4. After first time sex - that is hot
  5. Beth:

    I disagree with your comment about not sending flowers for the heck of it. That's the best time to get flowers, when you least expect it! Also, it's nice to get flowers when you have a stressful day/week coming up with work. And NEVER, EVER, NEVER send carnations. Yuck. Reminds me of funerals. Gerber daisies are my favorite.

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