Spirituality and Relationship


What most men don't realize is the psychological reason for marriage. While you may think it's for a strong family and survival of the race, it's actually more primitive than that. The reason for Marriage is for you and your wife to heal your childhood injuries. Whether you realize it or not, there's an unconscious reason why you'll marry the person that you do.

Those men that constantly seek perfection or the woman that will NEVER bore them end up marrying multiple times. You don't want to become that. Well how does marriage heal those wounds?

No matter who you marry, your wife is going to hurt or disappoint you in some way or another. The way you've learned to "deal" with that hurt needs to be improved. If you're a sulker, pouter, shouter, whatever...those methods don't work well in a marriage. What does work better is learning how to work together with your partner, for it is in partnership that the wounds become activated. And according to best selling author Harvill Hendrix, "When we gather the courage to search for the truth of our being and the truth of our partner's being, we begin a journey of psychological and spiritual healing."

Relationships are the absolute best way to grow, mature, and become more self-aware. Relationships are the universe's clever way of showing us what parts of ourselves need work. You've heard about how your partner is your mirror, and when you see something you don't like, it's actually a reflection of some aspect of yourself you repress or deny. This is, unfortunately (or fortunately, if you choose to look at it that way!) true, and it's what makes the wonderful honeymoon stage of a relationship eventually fade. What I have noticed about men is that when the going gets tough, or, in other words, when the time is ripe for some serious self-examination, most men opt out, rather than take a good, hard, honest look at themselves to try and understand the root of a relationship problem.

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I know why this happens. It happens because it's Really HARD to be brutally honest with oneself and see the not-so-nice aspects, the weaknesses, the selfishness. It's so much easier to blame your partner for what's happening. But if the roots of problems don't get exposed, they will fester over time. And the same problems will come up again in the next relationship.

This is the point when we want to go deeper, and of course, we have to be willing to be honest with ourselves as well. There is so much going on in a relationship that is unconscious, so many expectations and beliefs we don't even know we have that are influencing the relationship and that need to be exposed. Women want a conscious relationship with the men in their lives. Women want to be able to work on issues together so both can grow as human beings. And even though becoming more conscious is a hell of a lot of work, it is ultimately incredibly rewarding, because when you throw away your defenses, your blocks to intimacy, your outdated beliefs, your fears of exposing yourself, you have a lot more energy to be happy together!

Spirituality in relationship is an immense topic and it deserves more attention than this website page alone. There are many excellent books for exploring this topic and further reading is definitely recommended, either on your own or with your partner.

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